Fail and Excuses

Ok, so not a fail, but I certainly feel like I did because I didn't run this morning.  

I don't have a good excuse, I guess.  I did get woken up pretty early this morning, and it was easy to use that as an excuse to not run, but to try to get more sleep instead.

Well, tomorrow is another day.  I did do a lot of running around today, so my steps were pretty average.  But I'd rather have my steps at a higher level.  I like beginning my day with almost 5,000 steps.

No Monday Run

Not me

I've decided that I will NOT expect to go for a morning run on Mondays.  For some reason, Sunday nights are restless nights for me.  I don't sleep.  And as a teacher, and having to be at
 the top of my game all day long, sleep comes before running.

My cat Charlie.

It makes a few Mondays that I deal with restlessness, except for the Monday on Christmas Break. They say that when you're perimenopausal you'll deal with restless nights.  They weren't kidding!  I also can't seem to turn off my brain or ignore certain noises (husband breathing & cat grooming himself).

I also believe that the added concern of getting up early to get in a run may be causing me to be restless, too.  

So, at 3:30 this morning, as I lay wide awake wishing that I could fall back asleep for at least another hour, I made the decision that I will lower my expectations when it comes to Monday runs.  If I have a full night's sleep and I wake up early enough, then I'll go, otherwise, nope.

I wanted exercise to help relieve stress, not add to it.  

No run today.

I've sadly had less than 6 hours of sleep last night, and I don't deal well with that. Let's just say I'm thankful it's the weekend, but it doesn't make the loss of sleep any easier to deal with. 

I could look at today as a failure, and I probably should.  But instead, I'll look at it as a day to relax and reflect on what I have planned for my students this coming week.  I also realized during the night, as I lay wide awake trying to fall back asleep that I didn't say what I ran yesterday, so I'll get to that today.

What I don't like about running when I'm off is I wake up hungry, whereas when I get up at 4:45 A.M. I don't feel hungry yet.  So when I get up later in the morning, I eat.  That means I have to wait at least an hour to go for a run, so around 9:30 yesterday morning I was on my road running in the crusty snow, my feet sliding a few inches backward with every step.  The temperature was about 20ºF and warm.  It was almost too warm for my run back.

Now I say run.  I have to work on my thoughts when I run.  I'm constantly struggling to think of things other than how hard the run might be.  This means that I end up going from running to stopping and walking, a lot.  Even though I try to think of other things, when I get my head thinking of stopping, I can't push past that.  I've done lots of reading about mind over matter, and I'm considering seeing a hypnotist.

So, yesterday I ran my worst time since I've been keeping track.  Below are my last two runs.  Note that it was 2 weeks since I last ran, and I considered 11:31/mi on the slow side for me.  I know that many would consider this extremely slow period.  But my best time since August has been 10:41/mi.

When I reflect on how my run went, it wasn't my best, but then I have to remind myself that I also did laps around anyone who wasn't running or walking, or doing anything physical.  Like me.  Today.  My plan for tomorrow is to go for a run and make it a good one, too.

Day 1 - New Years Day

So, I've done what pretty much everyone else in the world on the first day of the year does.  I've created a New Year's resolution. I know it's cliché, but I did it anyhow.

I felt that today was just as good as any other day to start over again.  

I've actually been running since August before school started back, but the past two weeks I've been lazy and unmotivated. I've tried to analyze why.  Before my lack of motivation, I've been getting up on most days around 4:45 A.M. and hitting the road with my reflective vest and headlamp before getting ready for work.  But then we went through a period of single digit temperatures and snow.  That wasn't too bad.  I've got the gear and the shoes to run comfortably.  We even have a treadmill in the basement that I could use.  Struggling to get a good night's sleep is more of an issue for me.

I'm a light sleeper who's been dealing with hot flashes in the middle of the night.  Once I'm awake and cooled down, I get stressed out about getting back to sleep.  Every little sound keeps me from relaxing and dozing off.  So come morning when I plan to get up, I choose to stay in bed for the extra 45 minutes of sleep instead.

I have a support system.  My husband encourages me to keep running, our school's guidance counselor (an avid runner since his 20s) has declared himself my unofficial trainer, and my sister-in-law, her husband, my niece and I follow each other on  the Strava app.

I've also tried to use new running gear as motivation, too.  I've got a couple of pairs of insulated compression pants,

several wicking running tops with the thumb hole (whatever it's called), and the Turtlefur tubes to wear as headbands and/or neckwarmers.  There are times that they're not enough to get me going.

I've also read books about people running, trying to get motivation from them.  I've included a list of some of the books I've read off to the side.

Aside from the sleep issues, my biggest problem to stay motivated is that I haven't seen any progress in my weight loss.  I've only lost 4 pounds since August, and since I've been inactive for a couple of weeks, let's just say that those pounds have come back.  

So why am I writing this blog?  Basically to keep me accountable and for the motivation.  I would LOVE to hear from people, to hear of their struggles and triumphs.  Maybe we can motivate each other.