Queen of Procratination

So, in my inactivity, I've gained more than the 4 pounds that I had originally lost based on my last post.  I've gained 10. 

You can imagine the level of disappointment I'm feeling in myself, pulling out my clothes from last summer.  Dresses that used to fit me perfectly last year, are now tight, showing the curvature of my stomach, butt, and thighs.  My jean capris cut me in my midsection and give me a backache.
I haven't even dared to try on any of my shorts.  I feel horrible.

Yet, I sit on my arse binge-watching my favorite Netflix episodes, scanning Facebook, and currently writing this blog post while my treadmill sits idle in the basement.  I have no excuse.

Part of my lack of motivation is the fact that I really didn't lose anything during the 5 months that I had been running.  And I like food.   Especially that fruit pie I made this afternoon that's sitting in the fridge, and I've been constantly thinking about since I finished supper.

I'm my own worse enemy, my worst critic, and the biggest reason for my own failures.  Any excuse I can think of is used without hesitation.

For example, I have to have cataract surgery on both of my eyes in the next few weeks, and for the past couple of weeks I couldn't wear my contacts, so I used the excuse that once I could wear them again I'll start back running.  It's been a week now.  Any excuse is a good excuse.

Yesterday was a beautiful day. It began with rain but ended with clear skies and warm sunshine.  My husband and I took off for a car ride around the Valley where we live.  We took roads that I used to ride peddle bike on about 5 years ago when we were big on bike riding.  It wasn't uncommon for any of my bike rides to be about 34 miles.  

I hated riding up hills, one especially that was lovingly dubbed the Hill from Hell, but as we're driving along those roads, I paid attention to the inclines that I used to ride.  I couldn't help thinking about what I was able to do just a short time ago and be impressed with myself, or at what I used to do.  

I could do that again.

I read not too long ago that we shouldn't say things to ourselves that we wouldn't say to another person.